The Borderline Male and How Much It hurts When they Hate you.

Hi guys,

First of all, if you made it here you must be hurting, feeling confused and crazy.
Unlike all the other blogs about the borderline male, I am going to say opposite things. I don't think it's just about the Cassanova syndrome and they only want you when they can't have you.

I have only dated males with Borderline Disorder three times and they were the most painful times of my life. One still stalks me and still hates me---is angry at me that I am a writer, one is on heroin and the other is still around when he isn't in punishment mode.

I am not a mental health professional and I am not someone on the internet who will claim I know how to get the person you love to stop hurting you. I just wanted to start writing about it so I have a place to say things, you can say things too and we can feel all alone together.

But... for my first post, I want to say, I too have Borderline Personality Disorder. And that said, these are just my opinions on being one and dating them.

So, if you are hurting, please know I'm going to say the opposite of what 99 percent of the people say out there.

My main two questions when dealing with being split black were and are--did they ever love me and will I ever hear from them again.

So, in answer to both yes, they did love and care about you and yes you will hear from them again. So, stop everything you are doing right now. Just calm down.

Yes, they did care and most likely still do. YES. I swear it. I saw mine recently after he gave me the silent treatment for months. He took me to see the Cure, then hated me and blocked me again. But, it's nothing I'm doing. It's something about me that triggers their early childhood abandonment fears.

So, you trigger them to go into hate and silent scorn and all that. Not because you are bad or unlovable. But, because of their childhoods and to lose you would be too painful, so they hate you and push you away. Sometimes to see if you will chase them and sometimes because you make them feel things they aren't prepared to feel. 

So, for me--what was always important to know was that my ex ever cared about me. And the honest truth is I always hear from them again (the second most important thing to calm me down).

So, don't buy any books. There are no manipulation tactics that work.

But, I want to tell you what I go through, and what I've done to stay on the planet while dealing with my few exes with this disorder.

And, I wanted to help someone else understand they are not alone. Post two will tell you exactly what to do when they hate you.